Assumption #3-Your history, and more importantly, the way you respond to your past, increases or decreases your chances of being depressed during your life.
This can be a very personal and powerful discussion for some. My years in practice have placed me eyeball, to eyeball with some of the most abused people I have ever heard. Their stories of suffering, emotional abuse, broken homes, violence, drug abuse, sexual abuse, etcetera… etcetera, have impacted me, and the way that I look at the world around me. These survivors are often left with horrific wounds, that fester and haunt. Often their perception of life is dimmed, and the dreams that are so real in the eyes of some, become further proof that something is wrong with them… and that they are destined to live a life filled with torment. These precious people often suffer from severe anxiety disorders, severe depression, sleep problems, relationship problems, and a fragile existence. Who is to blame? I remember visiting with a young lady some time ago whose family tree was filled with 6 to 7 different fathers, drug abuse, prison, violence, and all sorts of abuse. I remember vividly thinking to myself: “she doesn’t stand a chance.” It was heartbreaking, because even though my sincere hands were reached out to assist, her perception was so calloused, so hardened, so distrusting that she was unable to see it for what it was. What is to be done? What is a child supposed to do when she is faced with such serious and severe circumstances? If most adults don’t know how to deal with things of this magnitude, children are especially helpless, and often react in a very protective and fearful way. Unfortunately for them, this short term “defense mechanism-like” response, can create significant long term problems. Abuse is not the only problem. Family deaths, accidents, and other traumatic events can create a “hair-trigger-like” stress response in individuals. This over-sensitivity to life stressors makes people especially susceptible to depressive symptoms, anxiety, and obsessive tendencies. Geez… I’m getting depressed just talking about it… let’s move on to what we can do about it NOW! what can we do about it? What if I have a hair-trigger reaction to stress, what can i do about it? LOTS… you can do LOTS about it, and that is why we are putting together an “overpowering depression program” to assist people to do just that. The first step would involve realizing that they are patterns, responses, habits that have turned into ruts… water drainage. The recognition that our maladaptive responses to these unfortunate events have created some degree of dysfunction (we are all a little crazy), carries within it the ability to effect change. Here are some typical maladaptive responses that adults and children alike use as protective mechanisms that often backfire on them: Avoidance, procrastination, distrust, paranoia, withdrawal, isolation, secrecy, anger, resentment, bitterness, violence, self-blame, etc. Remember responses can be changed. Your brain can be taught.
Action Now: You don’t have to dive back into painful situations, or relieve dark periods, just courageously become aware that somewhere along the line you have become accustomed to responding to crappy situations in crappy ways. Listen here… there are better ways, and you can do them!
Happy Day,
This beautiful quote speaks to the rich truth that our behavior should be unconditional and independent, not conditional and dependent upon responses or external praise. This speaks to the core of what the golden rule really is “do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Unfortunately most people today don’t follow the golden rule, they follow the bronze rule “treat others how you are being treated.” Do you see the difference? What does it take to build this kind of emotional and psychological strength? Faith, Commitment, and action. Now go quit being a parrot of others moods and tantrums, and decide to be your very own person, choosing whom you will be today!
